A Guide to Queerbaiting for the Straight Man
If you can't be fabulous, you can be fab-adjacent
Sometimes straight guys want to hang out with gay guys, mainly because we’re fabulous. The smart ones realize we know more about women than them, have a better sense of fashion, and are better at interior design.
Like I said—fabulous.
As with most things, their reasons are largely selfish. They want to impress the women in their lives, or if they don’t have one, attract one.
The problem is, there’s nothing in it for us. Do they think we offer this sickening advice for free?
That’s where queerbaiting comes in.
In the entertainment industry, queerbaiting is a marketing technique where creators try to entice a queer audience by hinting at same-sex relationships or other LGBTQ+ representation without delivering. They want to avoid being overt and turning off a homophobic audience.
Queerbaiting in a social sense is when a straight dude tries to get a gay guy to hang out with him platonically by hinting at participating in gay activities while harboring ulterior motives.
If you’re a clueless straight guy who wants to avail themselves of the advice and expertise of a gay guy, there are a few strategies you can employ.
Suggest going to a musical. He’ll immediately be suspicious, knowing that straight men always avoid MOPS (musicals, operas, plays, and shopping).
To make it believable, say, “Ariana Grande is so hot. Wanna go with me to see her in that new Wicked movie?”
He’ll jump at the chance to see it again (believe me, he’s been at least twice already). Then, suggest going to a bar afterward where you’ll employ him as your wingman. It’s a win-win. Just be a gentleman and pay for his drinks.
Ask your gay guy to go shopping with you. Tell him you need his expert fashion sense to determine the clothes that make him look sexy. You’ll avoid looking like a scrub and he’ll get to play the part of the best friend in the dressing room montage of every rom-com in history.
Invite him to your place because a hot girl told you that feng shui is sexy and you don’t know how it works. Once there, he’ll see that your place is a pigsty (because it always is). He won’t be able to deal with it and end up cleaning the whole place.
You may wonder why I’m advising you on how to successfully queerbait a gay guy. Be assured that he has a plan as well.
Especially if you haven’t had sex recently, he’ll offer his services. He’ll remind you of how much women hate going down on you and how good gay men are at this skill. He’ll convince you that women like guys who are open to new experiences.
This may or may not be true, but he knows that a guy often thinks with the head that’s not on his shoulders. He knows this because he is a guy, and while you think you’ve been baiting him, he’s been baiting you.
Two can play this game.
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