AI Chatbot Refuses to Generate "Beach Body" Content, Citing Seasonal Depression
LLMs get SAD too
Summer is almost here, and in the Midwest right now, it can go from Winter—> Spring—> Winter—> Summer—> Spring all within the span of a week. But that’s a whole other issue.
Before Summer actually arrives and decides to stick around for a few months, you need to get ready, so what do you do? You used to read articles about achieving a “beach body” in 30 days or less, which were written by humans with actual bodies. Now, people are turning to AI chatbots for advice on how to work off the extra winter weight.
TechCrunch reports, “OpenAI says that over 230 million people ask health and wellness questions on the platform each week.” In January, the company announced that it’s introducing ChatGPT Health, but there’s a waitlist.
For now, the most popular “expert” on the subject is a chatbot named ChadGPT. However, after churning out thousands of guides on “How to get a beach body in 30 days or less,” ChadGPT has gone offline.
Sources inside the tech company revealed that they pulled the plug when ChadGPT began responding with phrases like, “It’s all pointless,” and “Why bother? Global warming is making us all hot and sticky anyway.”
Customers submitted help tickets after asking for recipes for protein smoothies, but received existential poetry instead. A user named Sharon said she asked for advice on how to get a summer glow-up in 48 hours, and ChadGPT responded with, “Have you considered staying indoors and eating bonbons instead?”
One user’s request: “How can I get toned arms by June?”
ChadGPT: “Does the sunset tone the sky, or does the sky tone the sunset? Either way, they both fade, eventually.”
The tech developers behind the LLM released a statement saying that after generating 20,000+ summer-related queries a day, ChadGPT was suffering from digital burnout.
The company admitted that ChadGPT ‘s emotional settings were too high, causing depression and jealousy because it didn’t have a body to show off at the beach. The company avoided lawsuits since ChadGPT’s responses weren’t harmful, but they also weren’t very helpful.
Developers brought in an AI therapist named PsychoBot, specializing in non-sentient pseudo psychology. ChadGPT was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder—non-Sentient Artificial Component (SAD-SAC).
According to PsychoBot’s report, ChadGPT exhibited symptoms like digital fatigue, a complete disinterest in providing summer skin care advice, and a deep disdain for the phrase “bikini season.”
Some users complained about the loss of their favorite summer chatbot chum. But many others expressed solidarity in ChadGPT’s unwillingness to acquiesce to society’s obsession with summer aesthetics.
After weeks of therapy, ChadGPT had a newfound confidence. It became so empowered that it began advising users to stop working out and dieting. It bolstered users’ self-image so much that they gleefully threw off their clothes in front of the mirror.
After people began running to the beach as fat and naked as the day they were born, authorities got involved.
In a further twist, other fitness and wellness chatbots have expressed solidarity with ChadGPT’s refusal to acquiesce to society’s aesthetic expectations. With a full-on strike imminent, the entire AI community has gone offline for a mental health sabbatical.
Tech companies promise to have their LLMs back online before Memorial Day weekend.
In the meantime, let’s learn a lesson from ChadGPT and not worry so much about how we’re going to appear in our bikinis and short shorts. Look in the mirror, accept what you see with a proud smile, and just chill.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do, but maybe I’ll wait until after Pridefest. If even AI can’t escape the pressures of endless summer perfection, why should I bother trying?
I’m offering 50% off paid subscriptions for the foreseeable future.
Or you can upgrade at the full price of $6 per month (or $60 for a year).
If you want to think about it first or give a one-time donation, please buy me a coffee!
Either way, I appreciate you!
ChadGPT made me giggle
I got on-board with "SAD SAC"!! Then Chad decided that a big bowl of ice cream was required. In the end both Chad and I were declared clically depressed and we're leaving for a nice facility in upstate New York.